To Be, or Not To Be

So I've mentioned that the status of my job and company aren't the most secure, right? About a month ago I applied for another job and felt like it was perfect for me. Had a great interview. Then the next day the recruiter called and told me they were going with someone who has specific industry experience. I was so heartbroken. It was like going on a great date and then the guy never calls back, and you can't figure out why. You had good rapport, you laughed, you thought you understood one another. *sigh*
Then last week the recruiter called me and said it didn't work out with that person, so they wanted me in for a second interview with the VP. Got my hopes all up again, I went in and it went well. The first guy I met with came in and told me he was confident that I could seamlessly take over that position, but it wasn't his decision alone. They said they had an internal candidate to interview and would make their decision on Monday. They asked the recruiter to contact my references, which she did. Of course they gave glowing references, why would I give her the name of anyone who wouldn't??
Yesterday I was a big ball of tension. So nervous that I was physically ill. It doesn't help that Hubs just accepted a new job, either. The recruiter called and said they were running behind and hadn't interviewed the internal guy yet, so we probably wouldn't get an answer until today. That was the tipping point. As if I wasn't already neurotic ebyond belief! I was a total schitzoid all night after that.
But when I woke up this morning, I felt better about the whole thing. Now I accept that I'll be okay either way. Would be great to get an offer today, of course, but I won't be devastated if I don't.
More updates to follow.....