Thursday, October 11, 2007

What is that, velvet?

Sorry, faithful readers, I was a bit distracted and forgot about you. Here's the 611 on that ... (has anyone seen Scary Movie 3?)

Attempted Murder, twice.
In my menagerie at home, there is a little blue betta fish. Since no one else was going to change his tank, I did. Oops, you mean you only need 3 drops of that water purifier? Fishie grazed the bottom of the tank for 2 days, then was put into a new (safer) tank. Just when he started to do better, Belly took a large plastic hand and stirred the tank. The fish just hasn't been the same since.

Life's dream, crushed.
Long story. Was told I'd have to start the recruiting process all over for the police dept. @%#@R^!^!#^@!!*!!!

Sunburn at the Pumpkin Patch
Took the kids to Bengston's Pumpkin Farm where Daimean fed a fainting goat and Belly rode a pony - which he emphatically said was a HORSE. Went on a hayride, through a corn maze, a haunted barn and watched pig races. This is extremely interesting to city kids. Smelly, but interesting. Came home with an angry sunburn and NOW it's cold outside. Ah, weather in Chicago.

1) Picking out pumpkins when it's 90 degrees is just wrong
2) Belly feeding a deer, but I missed it when he was assaulted by a hungry goat.
3) Gallows, the only way to control kids. I'm going to have those installed in the back yard.

Gender reassignment, again.
If you've read my Superman AKA Toddler Fever post, you'd know that Belly is secure in his masculinity - even in lipstick. Well, he'll be 4 next week and he asked for a kitchen playset for his birthday. My dear husband doesn't know that I've actually bought it for him. This will surely make DH crazy. In Belly's defense, all the amazing chefs in the world are men. He could be the next Charlie Trotter. But if he's not, and this causes him identity issues, he'll surely tell his therapist it's all Mom's fault anyway.

And last but not least, Blazing Saddles.
Yes, when my heart was broken and I was feeling low, I sat down and watched Blazing Saddles. Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges! Then I watched Shaolin Soccer and a mini Jon Stewart marathon.

What's next, you ask? Well, I'm not so sure myself... but I've got quite a long to do list and will let you know my next whacked out adventures as soon as I'm recovered from them.
I asked, "Can you guys think about sitting still for a second?" and this is what I got.