Thursday, April 24, 2008

Lowered Life Expectancy

There have been lots of kids on our block lately, visiting grandparents, aunts, etc. So my darling Golden Boy has been playing outside every evening. Rules were laid out plainly on Monday - stay on this block, on this street - I should be able to walk outside and see you. DO NOT go into anyone's house unless you check with your parents first. That one I gave to all the kids on the block.
Last night at 7:55 I tell GB that he has five minutes left to play, then it's time to come in. At 8pm, I look outside and see bicycles abandoned on the grass, but no children. I call his name and get no answer. Slip on my shoes and open the door to see another mom standing at my gate, asking if her kids are in my house. Umm, no. So we walk a few houses each way, calling to the kids. And let me tell you, we're loud. Not frantic nut cases, just loud. Her husband takes a look around the block in case the kids decided to press their boundaries. Nothing. Now we're starting to worry.
Finally, a kid next door opens the front door, and I hear the kids inside. They come out, I remind them of the rules, and wait for my blood pressure to return to normal.

Today, dear husband goes to the eye doctor. Allow me to preface this by saying that just yesterday I created a budget plan for us, and talked to him about it, and said we need to strictly follow this because we have some big expenses coming up (like day camp) and we need to make sure everything's covered. Well today the doctor tells him he needs some fancy ass lenses for his glasses, plus NASA grade contacts - to the tune of about $350.

To make matters worse, the parking meter ran out while he was in there, and there was a $50 ticket on the truck :(

SO now I'm going to be poor AND die young!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Human Development

Golden Boy's class is studying human development this month, or as the kids say between giggles and outright snorts, Sex Ed. Mind you, only about a quarter of the book they're reading is actually about puberty and sex. Oh, and nocturnal emissions. What fun THAT chapter will be! Most of it deals with decision making, honesty, doing the right thing, etc. It gives scenarios and asks the kids to think about how they'd handle them. One of them talks about families with adopted children, about a parent losing a job, kids cutting classes at school, things like that.
The school sent home copies of the text book ahead of time so the parents would know what the kids were learning. Golden Boy's BFF from school showed the diagram of a woman's reproductive system to my mom and said, "That's just gross. Do you see the baby in there?!"
So today Golden Boy whips out his treasured cell phone to call me after school and tell me they talked about "Umm, you know *pause* that stuff *pause* that's inside a male.... *quietly whispers* um, yeah, sperm? Well, we talked about it today." So since he's opening the dialogue here, I ask him if he understood it, if it was confusing, if he had any questions.... and instead he moves onto the next subject.

Not since my little angel was born have I felt so unsure of how to handle something as the mother of a BOY. At what age do boys er, discover themselves? When is he going to insist his little brother return to his own room, because he needs personal space? I do the laundry and change the sheets, and I'd have noticed any "emissions"... but what else do I need to be aware of?? For cripe's sake, I was never a BOY (as my husband likes to point out when I wonder why they act like savages sometimes) When we were kids we obsessed over who was getting boobs and periods first. What the heck to boys wonder about??