Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Hello! My Name Is: Asshole

Last night, Aunt Flo had me laid out and miserable. The kids are on spring break, so I've been letting them stay up late. Last night, I went to bed at 10pm, and let the munchkins blow up the air mattress and sleep in my room. Before we laid (lay? lie? whatever) down, I explained that I really didn't feel well, and I was super tired, so it was time for bed.
Then Isaiah jumped on my bed. Which was fine. Well, it was fine until he kept climbing on me, and poking at me, and waking me up every time I’d doze off. By 11pm, I was mad as hell. He was twirling some plastic knife around and hit me with it. Then he dropped it on the floor. Then he dropped it again. Each time, he’d jump OFF the bed, then jump back ON the bed….. until I yelled at him that if he did it again, I’d throw out the knife. He settled down for a few minutes. I went back to sleep. Then he woke me up to change the channel, and I told him no. Then when he woke me up AGAIN for a glass of water (the tried and true bed time delay) I yelled at him to go to sleep.

He started to cry.

I said, “Really?? You’re crying because I won’t get another glass of water?!” And he nodded his little angel head while the tears spilled over.

Now I’m officially an asshole.

I dragged my ass out of bed, went downstairs to get a glass of water. When I brought it back, I apologized to him. He told me it was ok, that he still loves me. I felt like a total jerk.

Then this morning, he couldn’t find his knife, so he asked me on the phone if I threw it away. Yes, because I’m a mean, horrible person that makes kids cry. I told him no, that it’s probably under the covers, or on the floor next to the bed.

Then he noticed something, while we were on the phone. He asked, “Momma, did you put a heart on my hand?” and I said yes, and he was happy. You see, before I left this morning, when he was (finally) sleeping peacefully, I took a marker and drew a heart on his hand. So that when he woke up, he’d know I love him. Hopefully that’ll replace the image of half asleep, angry momma. *crosses fingers*