Friday, June 27, 2008

Friday Night Fights

When I was little my parents fought. A lot. Fueled by their mutual love of drink. Understandable, since my grandmother claims she introduced them in a bar. There are old pictures of me sitting on bar stools and feasting on lemon wedges at various bars. Once, when my parents separated for a time, we moved in with my mom's boyfriend, in a little apartment above a bar. Yes, I do have issues now with bars and drinking, thanks for asking. Anyway, the parental units had plenty of house wrecking fights back in the day. They never hurt one another, just found it necessary to scream and break things. Maturity at it's best, I tell you. One Friday night many years ago, I was at my Grandmother's house and I begged her not to send me home. Told her my parents were just going to fight all night and it scared me. I begged and cried until I made myself sick. My mother was terribly embarrassed when she picked me up, because I was really making a scene. They didn't fight that night though.
What's it like to be the family members who watch this stuff, but don't feel like they can intervene? If you had a little kid clinging to you and begging you to let her stay, and not send her home to listen to the Friday Night Fights, wouldn't your natural instinct be to agree?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I had a terrible childhood or anything. That was just one aspect of it that sucked, that's all. Overall, it was pretty darn happy.

Today is Friday, and my kids are excited that I get to stay home from work tomorrow, and that we're all going to the movies on Sunday when Daddy's off work. They think weekends at home are great.
And that makes me incredibly happy.


Marmarbug said...

That is so sad. I would hope that if I was ever like that with my hubby that our family would open their mouths and tell us to can it.
I am glad that you see the error of their ways and now have a happy home life!!!

Kendra Field-Bennett said...

I could only imagine that I would never be able to let that upset child go back! I'm a softie. So glad you could have a different Friday night for your family! We get date night tonight (the folks are keeping ALL the boys overnight) so that'll be a treat. We get to get ready for Trey's bday....we sure know how to have fun.

SissyMerks said...

You overcame your Friday Night Fights and childhood trauma to make you a great mom. You deserve credit for not following the example set for you. Lord knows I have been fighting to not follow examples for my own childhood.

Colleen said...

I remember my parents fighting before they separated/divorced. I was about 4 years old. My dad has since been divorced again and is currently married to his third wife. I told Justin before we got married that he'd better be ready to really be stuck with me because divorce wasn't going to be an option.

carrie said...

thought provoking for sure. It reminded me of how I used to beg my mother not to leave me home alone with my stepdad. It's not that he was heinously abusive, but he was mean and inattentive at best.

It's hard to break those generational things, but you know how worth it, it is to have kids who don't look at you the same as you looked at your parents.

kristi said...

I saw a lot of physical fights. My hubs and I argue but never get physical.

Veronica Garcia said...

My parents verbal and physical abuse with each other and myself made my childhood a living hell. They are still together to this day.

Of course, I don't like to follow. I left my husband exactly BECAUSE of that. I don't want my son to grow up watching his father and I argue and fight. I want my son to have a happy childhood unlike myself.

Joe and Leanna said...

WOW! Goose bumps! Memories!

My parents were married 19 years but divorced when I was 15. Like you, my childhood was great. I never thought about them divorcing because they never involved us children....but, looking back, I realized how many 'fights' (just yelling) that I overheard (without them knowing). And the knotts my stomach would be in! YUCK!

I'm so glad, like you, to NOT follow in their footsteps!