Looking Forward to Communism

Oh hai! Thanks for stopping by.

Block party was a success, and I even remember some people's names. And and and, I even remember what a few of them do for a living. Why is that the first thing someone asks? Why are we so defined by our jobs? Or am I just bitter because the AC is out at work and I spent every minute of my 8 hours there today hating the shit out of that place? Hmm, could be.

School is coming along well. I'm anxious to be done already. Each time I look at how many classes I still have to take (and how much I *already* owe in student loans) I wonder what the HELL I was thinking when I decided to go back.
My kidlets are adjusting ok to being back in school after summer break. Probably better than I am. Well, if we compare my wine consumption to their SweetTart binges, we're probably about even.

Today I hate being a homeowner. I hate being anchored to this one thing, and all the things I can't do because of it. Can't take the kids to Disney World. Can't go visit my sister. Can't quit my job.....

Sunday I dragged took the kids to Family Mass. As a family that receives financial aid from the school to reduce tuition, we're pretty compelled to attend once a month. Half way through, Isaiah said, "I can't wait to go to second grade and get my first communism."
"It's communion, kiddo."
"Yeah, that. I want that."

Block Party?

There was a big, neon green notice on our door this morning. No, not from the gas company. It's about the "1st annual" block party to take place next week on our block. That made me laugh. How do you know it's going to be annual? What if neighbor A hits on neighbor B's wife and a fight breaks out? What if the people in the only apartment building on the block scummify things with their lack of social skills? (and believe me, they lack social skills)
Wasn't sure how to react to this. Giddiness, at first. Yay! We're having a big party! But then suspicion. Uh oh, we're having a big party. I only know 2 of my neighbors by name. Well, if "Fuzzy Head" counts as a name, since that's what we've been calling him for the 5 years we've lived here. Oh, and I do know the daughter's name of the other neighbor. She and her husband sometimes take all the kids bike riding around the 'hood. Does that count? And 2 years ago I talked with the woman who runs a home day care on the block. Okay, we're not exactly a close knit community. We know one another by sight, and we exchange pleasantries. Or head nods, same thing, right? Except for my neighbors to the west and their neighbors to the west, they kind of hate each other. And that's also the place that I suspect called the police about Ilio. Yeah, I don't want to share any pot luck with them.

BUT in the spirit of community and all, we're in. The day starts with yard sales at 10am (so, um, we're just going to barter our cast offs to one another?) then pot luck lunch at 2, and an extra large bounce house in the street until 6pm. Fingers crossed that a lovely time will be had by all.

The Dark Side

Muahaha - I've gone back to the dark side. Back to my roots (at least, I think, something close....) and that's my somewhat willing prop, Ilio. He didn't understand what was going on so he started barking and jumping, he figured it was a party.

My mom says she miscalculated the end of her chemo, it'll be in November, not December. Yay! That much closer to being done!

Something Wicked This Way Comes

That's the name of the movie that was my dream last night. It was part action movie, part horror movie, part How to Train Your Dragon, and it starred

*sigh*
There was even a logo for this dream/movie, and it looks suspiciously like the WuTang W.... I'll chalk that up to my watching a lot of old Dave Chappelle lately. So there was an invasion by some lynx-looking dragon monsters, there was Brandon, there were cribs in trees (no, I don't understand that either), there was Brandon without a shirt, there was a cruise ship that completely submerged as part of it's amazing tour, and everyone was just supposed to KNOW to hold their breath when it went under, making me fear for the lives of all babies and small children aboard. Just as we were starting to figure out how to defeat, or at least not become dinner for, these dragon things, I woke up.
:(
And now, some gratuitous Brandon Boyd pictures, for my viewing pleasure.

Fickle

Last night, at bed time, Isaiah was fighting sleep, and fighting for more time to stay up. After a few minutes of sitting with the kids, I shut off the TV, which made Isaiah sulk. Since I ignored his sulking, he started harrumphing. Finally I asked explained that school is starting this week, so they’ve got to start getting to bed earlier. While I said this, I was rubbing his back. With tears in his eyes, he told me that he was angry and he pulled away from me. So I asked, “Do you want me to leave you alone?” He nodded solemnly. As I stood up, he said, “But you don’t have to go.”
I actually started to laugh. So, you want me to leave you alone, but you don’t want me to leave? He said, “Yes. You can stay. But you can’t touch me.” Again, I laughed. As I sat back down, he softened his stance. He reached for my hand and said, “But I can touch you as much as I want.” So I let him hold my hand. Then he said, “Ok, you can touch me one time. You know, in case you want to give me a hug.” Which turned into, “Well, you can touch me two times.” When I reached over and put my hand on his back, he gave in and said, “You can touch me ten thousand million times. No, infinity times.”
So of course, I stayed with him until he fell asleep :)

In Communist Germany ...

Today is chemo session number 5 for my mom. Last time, she said that the IV removal was very painful, and her wrist did swell immediately following. My aunt said if they got the solution under her skin, it would cause a chemical burn, and would erupt or blister in a big way. Scary stuff, right? But a few days went by, and nothing happened. She said she was having shooting pain from her wrist up her arm, so eventually she went to see the nurse, who suggested she have an xray, because the pain she’s describing isn’t from the chemo, but she may have fractured her wrist. She was persistent, though, that what she was feeling was due to their negligence when removing her IV. She says at that point, the nurse said they wouldn’t continue her treatment unless she got a port a cath inserted.
She’s been screaming malpractice since.
This morning her anxiety over having the cath inserted reached absolute fever pitch. She was talking about hiring a lawyer and suing them for pain and suffering, because WHO are THEY to FORCE her to do something she doesn’t want to do? FUCK THEM! This is bullshit! And you know what? This is just like communist Germany!

This time, I couldn’t help but laugh. Really? Communist Germany?? So she verbally assaulted the people at registration, and at outpatient surgery. I walked behind her apologizing and thanking everyone for their patience. In fact, I should just issue a blanket apology to anyone that came into contact with her today 

Yes, I use humor to diffuse frustration, to sooth hurt feelings (mostly my own!) and to cope with unpleasant things. I have to say, I’m so very thankful to have a support network. A dear friend came and stayed with my mom for her chemo today, because I had to come in to work. No, not because my company is unfeeling or doesn’t care. In fact, my company has been great. No, it’s because I have work to do, and ok, I’ll admit, I didn’t want to be around for her emotional breakdown during chemo. I love my mother, I do. When she’s not beset by chemo induced craziness, she’s lovely. Right now, things are tough for her. And some days, all I can do is laugh. Don’t judge me!

The Cheetos Truck

This truck came in the mail today, addressed to my boys. With a note from my aunt explaining that she'd brought it for her brother, my father, and wanted them to have something of his.

I actually started to cry when they opened it. Just last night I was talking about him, telling my husband how much I miss him. And when this came today, I felt like I got a little piece of him back. When I was a kid, we used the truck to send Cheetos back and forth through the house, much to my mother's dismay. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if it still had orange crumbs in the trailer. I hadn't thought about it in years.

Marcia said, "Ask and you shall receive." Yesterday I was hurting, and I didn't even *know* what to ask for. But today, I received.