Oh, insecurity, you're a tricky little bastard, aren't you?
School and work and parenting and everything else at once isn't easy, but I had this idea that it was something like noble suffering, you know? Something like a trial. If I can make it through with my sanity (somewhat) intact, I win.
But what do I win?
The many times I've been told, directly and indirectly, that my hopes of getting a teaching position teaching high school history are nil, well, they're starting to create cracks in my fragile facade. What if I haul ass through school, somehow make it through student teaching, but DON'T get hired full time anywhere? I mean, look what happened with the police dept. Hauled ass through school, passed all their exams.... and still never got called. Yeah, I've been burned before.
Damn you, insecurity, for making me doubt myself.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
And Each Other, Apparently
Dear Lord these children are going to be the death of me... and each other.
Hubs and I are still sitting over dinner, kids are done and playing. They start to fight over a pen. A freakin' pen. And not the Bic kind, with a soft ball at the end. Oh no. A fountain pen with a very sharp point.
You see where I'm going with this, don't you?
Isaiah asks for the pen. Daimean says no. Isaiah grabs for it, Daimean won't let go. He bends over, clutching the pen by his knees. Isaiah tugs, pulls it free, and it goes STRAIGHT INTO HIS NOSE.
They both knew something bad just happened. They moved apart, and Isaiah covered his nose with his hands, while tears filled his eyes. I reach for him, and calmly ask what happened - because at this point I believe they had bumped heads or something like that. Daimean tells me the pen went into Isaiah's nose, while Isaiah starts to cry.
And bleed. A lot.
Some ice, paper towels and love helped, and all is well now. Oh, except when he sneezed about 5 minutes later and gushed blood. But really, he's fine now.
And I've lost 5 more years of life expectancy.
Hubs and I are still sitting over dinner, kids are done and playing. They start to fight over a pen. A freakin' pen. And not the Bic kind, with a soft ball at the end. Oh no. A fountain pen with a very sharp point.
You see where I'm going with this, don't you?
Isaiah asks for the pen. Daimean says no. Isaiah grabs for it, Daimean won't let go. He bends over, clutching the pen by his knees. Isaiah tugs, pulls it free, and it goes STRAIGHT INTO HIS NOSE.
They both knew something bad just happened. They moved apart, and Isaiah covered his nose with his hands, while tears filled his eyes. I reach for him, and calmly ask what happened - because at this point I believe they had bumped heads or something like that. Daimean tells me the pen went into Isaiah's nose, while Isaiah starts to cry.
And bleed. A lot.
Some ice, paper towels and love helped, and all is well now. Oh, except when he sneezed about 5 minutes later and gushed blood. But really, he's fine now.
And I've lost 5 more years of life expectancy.
Monday, February 15, 2010
My Kids Are Trying to Kill Me
Yesterday Isaiah gave me a heart attak, then just made me mildly uneasy.
In the morning, I don't know what the heck the kids were talking about, but Daimean asked Isaiah what he would do if someone in a van told him they'd give him candy if he'd go with them. Isaiah replies, "I'd check it out."
WHAT!?
Daimean says, "No! You never take candy from strangers!" to which Isaiah calmly replies, "I didn't say I'd take it! I said I'd check it out!"
So I called him over and talked to him about stranger danger (which we've talked about before, and they learn in school as well) and how bad people will try to lure kids in with candy, but you should run the other way and tell an adult you trust. Well, not I think I've scared him, because he's got tears in his eyes and his lip is quivering... so I ask what's wrong, and he says, "But I like candy!" *sigh*
Then later in the evening, I overhear him ask Daimean, "D, who's your favorite serial killer?"
WHAT!?!?
Daimean handled it like a pro, and I told him so. Afterwards. I didn't interfere, I wanted to see how this was going to unfold.
D: Isaiah, why would you even ask that?
I: I just wanna know. I won't tell!
D: It's not about whether you'll tell. Serial killers aren't funny. That's not a joke, and it's not something you should even be knowing about. Now stop talking about it.
I: Okay.
Serial killers, strangers with candy, too much SVU.... I'm going to have a heart attack before I'm 40!
In the morning, I don't know what the heck the kids were talking about, but Daimean asked Isaiah what he would do if someone in a van told him they'd give him candy if he'd go with them. Isaiah replies, "I'd check it out."
WHAT!?
Daimean says, "No! You never take candy from strangers!" to which Isaiah calmly replies, "I didn't say I'd take it! I said I'd check it out!"
So I called him over and talked to him about stranger danger (which we've talked about before, and they learn in school as well) and how bad people will try to lure kids in with candy, but you should run the other way and tell an adult you trust. Well, not I think I've scared him, because he's got tears in his eyes and his lip is quivering... so I ask what's wrong, and he says, "But I like candy!" *sigh*
Then later in the evening, I overhear him ask Daimean, "D, who's your favorite serial killer?"
WHAT!?!?
Daimean handled it like a pro, and I told him so. Afterwards. I didn't interfere, I wanted to see how this was going to unfold.
D: Isaiah, why would you even ask that?
I: I just wanna know. I won't tell!
D: It's not about whether you'll tell. Serial killers aren't funny. That's not a joke, and it's not something you should even be knowing about. Now stop talking about it.
I: Okay.
Serial killers, strangers with candy, too much SVU.... I'm going to have a heart attack before I'm 40!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Most. Awesome. Ever.
This is my Valentine's present from Hubs. It's a mix tape. Sort of. 2010 style. It's a USB stick packaged in a cassette looking box. With a list of songs that only he would put together for me. Like TKA "Louder Than Love", Elvis "Can't Help Falling in Love", Van Morrison "Brown Eyed Girl", Louis Armstrong "Wonderful World" which we danced to at our wedding, Beatles "I've Just Seen a Face", Incubus "Stellar", Michael Jackson "You Are Not Alone", Bill Withers "Ain't No Sunshine", Foo Fighters "Darling Nikki" .... and things like Erik B and Rakim "Know the Ledge", sure it's not a love song, but it makes him think of me :)Oh, and D'Angelo "Brown Sugar" even though I'm pretty sure I'd be bleached white packet sugar.
It's the little things, you know?
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday Friday Friday
The day started out with us getting stcuk in the snow on the way to drop the kids off at school. No worries, I wasn't going to let it get me down. Even with Belly insisting we should abandon the Jetta and take the Jeep. Eventually got out of the snow bank, and got Daimean to school 10 minutes late.
Wait - let me summarize.
1) stuck in snow
2) Late to school. No one answers door to let child in.
3) Attempt to go to other school building's main office. 3 streets blocked by trucks.
4) Arrive 20 minutes late. Try to buy school sweatshirt, they don't have my size.
Still rockin my laid back friday vibe at this point. Until....
5) Pick up breakfast at McDonald's and find out they have royally botched it.
I lost it then. Sounded like I had Tourette's Syndrome.
But I recovered at lunch time when I went and picked up a new stainless steel crock pot for only $12. Score!
Wait - let me summarize.
1) stuck in snow
2) Late to school. No one answers door to let child in.
3) Attempt to go to other school building's main office. 3 streets blocked by trucks.
4) Arrive 20 minutes late. Try to buy school sweatshirt, they don't have my size.
Still rockin my laid back friday vibe at this point. Until....
5) Pick up breakfast at McDonald's and find out they have royally botched it.
I lost it then. Sounded like I had Tourette's Syndrome.
But I recovered at lunch time when I went and picked up a new stainless steel crock pot for only $12. Score!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Which is More Dangerous to a Mom?
A) Watching too much Law & Order, Special Victims Unit
B) Watching too much Cold Case Files
C) Reading too many serial killer books
D) All of the above
The answer is D. Last night I had a terrifying nightmare that Daimean was abducted, and was texting me, asking me to help him. And I couldn't find him. Seriously, is there anything more heart stopping for a parent?
B) Watching too much Cold Case Files
C) Reading too many serial killer books
D) All of the above
The answer is D. Last night I had a terrifying nightmare that Daimean was abducted, and was texting me, asking me to help him. And I couldn't find him. Seriously, is there anything more heart stopping for a parent?
Friday, February 5, 2010
You Know it's Friday When
Today I brought a gun to work. No, not a real one. It has little plastic bbs, they don't hurt, exactly, but they sting. It was a Valentine's Day gift from Hubs. In honor of the St Valentine's Day Massacre maybe? I dunno.
Anyway, my office gets pretty wild on Fridays. So we played with the gun earlier, threatening people, flashing it from waist bands, etc. Then I put it away and went back to doing what I get paid to do.
But there's one person here who has made a running joke about being afraid of me. Yeah, all 5 feet of me. Anyway, I waited until he walked in our office, and I shot him. Didn't say a word, just pulled out the gun and shot him in the chest. Well of COURSE he was startled and jumped, grabbed his chest and looked like he'd really been shot. Then I said, "I'll give you something to be scared of."
THEN I laughed until I was crying and gasping for air. Ah, most fun I've had all day.
Anyway, my office gets pretty wild on Fridays. So we played with the gun earlier, threatening people, flashing it from waist bands, etc. Then I put it away and went back to doing what I get paid to do.
But there's one person here who has made a running joke about being afraid of me. Yeah, all 5 feet of me. Anyway, I waited until he walked in our office, and I shot him. Didn't say a word, just pulled out the gun and shot him in the chest. Well of COURSE he was startled and jumped, grabbed his chest and looked like he'd really been shot. Then I said, "I'll give you something to be scared of."
THEN I laughed until I was crying and gasping for air. Ah, most fun I've had all day.
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