Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Updates from the Trenches

Hello? Is this thing on?

Serves me right, I suppose, for ignoring this blog for so long. But I'm doing really important stuff, I swear! Stuff like
1. Planning a birthday party for small child
2. Meeting with teachers because big child still won't do his school work
3. Preparing for an out of town wedding in which I'm standing up
4. Finishing my history degree
5. Showing up at the office every day (actual contributions may vary)
6. Walking my mother through her first home purchase
7. Laundry for 2 children, including school uniforms and spirit week get ups
8. The dog's colitis is acting up again, my life is full of poop and puke and I don't even have babies
9. NOT having a nervous breakdown
(I really screwed those numbers up, but my persistent OCD made me go back and fix them)

I mean, really, when you look at it in nice list form, it's almost amazing that I still walk and talk with some level of normalcy. Add to that some extra strength family stress and you've got a recipe for momma disaster. For the second time in my life, I've considered seeking counseling. But then I ask myself what the heck a counselor can tell me that I haven't already told me, and it kind of seems like a waste of time. I much prefer walking around in a funk and repeating, with the zeal of a convert, "Everything is fine, nothing but good times ahead."

What is it about weddings that brings out the worst in people? A series of unfortunate events led to a break between myself and one of my oldest friends during my wedding planning. It was over FIVE YEARS before we spoke again. We missed out on five years of companionship and kids and crazy because of what? We got mad and stopped talking and just didn't start again. I'm so sad that we lost that time, and so thankful that she stepped up and said THIS IS STUPID let's be friends again. Because really, I missed her and her kids. (I really do love all of my friend's kids)

Now one of my dearest friends is facing something like that, a little thing that turned into a big thing which all revolves around her wedding. It hurts me to see what's happening, and know just what's at stake, and not be able to help stop someone else from losing their friend.

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