Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Parental Guidance is Suggested

Last night I was musing to Hubs about how Golden Boy's really becoming more his own person every day. His clothes, hair, jokes, demeanor. But the one thing he's retained is his general sweetness. He's a NICE kid. Hubs said last night that he worries about that, sending such a sweet kid out into this decidedly NOT sweet world, where he'll be dealing with assholes. I said that I think his nice-ness will keep him above that, and he's smart, so he'll know how to deal with it.
Here comes the Mom is Snooping part.
He got a cell phone for his birthday, and has just started texting with it. This morning I checked the messages. Last night a kid from his class sent a text asking GB what he was doing over the summer, and if he was going to the baseball program at school. GB said no, he goes to a day camp. Kid who shall remain nameless responds with "thats gay". Does GB come back with a shitty response? No. He says, "well sometimes we play softball and dodgeball" and nameless kid (who I'm liking less and less here) comes back with "fuck you i was just kidding. hope u have fun at ur camp"
On one hand I wanted to be mad at nameless kid for being so harsh. On the other, I know he's just a kid, and I remember my own BFF trying out cursing when we were just about their age. We'd been saying the standard shit-fuck-damn when our moms weren't around, and we thought this was tres cool. Then one day she swore AT me. I don't even remember what she said. I just remember my feelings were hurt. I guess I was just having the same reaction to that text. My feelings were hurt on GB's behalf. But they traded a few more benign texts and all was well. I know GB hangs out with this kid because he's very popular, not necessarily because he LIKES him.

My parental guidance on this one? None. I'll check GB's phone daily to keep a tab on his messages. But I won't actually say anything unless there's a serious situation, and a cursing little kid isn't serious. Anyway, he's 10 - he shouldn't expect privacy. I monitor his email, too. He knows this, and some days he asks me to check his email and see if there's anything good in there.
I ended my lament last night by telling Hubs that GB and I have always been especially close. We talk a lot, about lots of things. We stay up late and chat. He calls me sometimes at work, just to say hi. I realize that as he grows, I'm not going to be his best friend. I'm his mom. But I hope that the closeness we've got will stay with him, and he'll be secure in knowing that Mom's always there for him.

Even if that means reading his text messages every day :)


Dead Tree Studios said...

Can we trade kids?

Veronica Garcia said...

WOW! You're one awesome mom, I tell ya!!!!

I swear I AM NOT ready for my son to grow up just yet.

With that and many other things that you've handled extremely well tell me you and your kids are going to be extremely close as long as you live.

I so admire you. =)

Midwest Mommy said...

He is awesome! However, I am still so shocked how young kids are getting phones now. I can just picture BG telling me, But mom I need the new pink one when she is 8!

kristi said...

Kids are already mean to my son because he has Autism and is different. It is tough!

Colleen said...

Good for you for raising such a good kid (and I'm sure Belly is good, too). And extra credit points for being such a good mom and reading his texts and emails. So many parents are like "oh, don't want to invade their privacy" but then have NO clue what their kids are getting into or are completely astonished if they go missing and the police uncover awful awful things that they as parents could've put a stop to months prior.

carrie said...

good for you for checking. My 10 yr old plays with a kid next door who has a foul mouth. He's even left this kid's yard because he wouldn't stop.

I've yet to hear him say anything worse than "Son of a Pansie" whatever that means.

He may be the bully here at home, but I guess he's got a brain up there somewhere.

SissyMerks said...

My oldest will be 14 in a couple of weeks and I still monitor his email, cell phone and myspace account. He doesn't know it though and I don't get on him for behaving like a teenager. I just do it because I, well I'm nosey for one but I want to make sure he is being safe too.