Last night I was musing to Hubs about how Golden Boy's really becoming more his own person every day. His clothes, hair, jokes, demeanor. But the one thing he's retained is his general sweetness. He's a NICE kid. Hubs said last night that he worries about that, sending such a sweet kid out into this decidedly NOT sweet world, where he'll be dealing with assholes. I said that I think his nice-ness will keep him above that, and he's smart, so he'll know how to deal with it.
Here comes the Mom is Snooping part.
He got a cell phone for his birthday, and has just started texting with it. This morning I checked the messages. Last night a kid from his class sent a text asking GB what he was doing over the summer, and if he was going to the baseball program at school. GB said no, he goes to a day camp. Kid who shall remain nameless responds with "thats gay". Does GB come back with a shitty response? No. He says, "well sometimes we play softball and dodgeball" and nameless kid (who I'm liking less and less here) comes back with "fuck you i was just kidding. hope u have fun at ur camp"
On one hand I wanted to be mad at nameless kid for being so harsh. On the other, I know he's just a kid, and I remember my own BFF trying out cursing when we were just about their age. We'd been saying the standard shit-fuck-damn when our moms weren't around, and we thought this was tres cool. Then one day she swore AT me. I don't even remember what she said. I just remember my feelings were hurt. I guess I was just having the same reaction to that text. My feelings were hurt on GB's behalf. But they traded a few more benign texts and all was well. I know GB hangs out with this kid because he's very popular, not necessarily because he LIKES him.
My parental guidance on this one? None. I'll check GB's phone daily to keep a tab on his messages. But I won't actually say anything unless there's a serious situation, and a cursing little kid isn't serious. Anyway, he's 10 - he shouldn't expect privacy. I monitor his email, too. He knows this, and some days he asks me to check his email and see if there's anything good in there.
I ended my lament last night by telling Hubs that GB and I have always been especially close. We talk a lot, about lots of things. We stay up late and chat. He calls me sometimes at work, just to say hi. I realize that as he grows, I'm not going to be his best friend. I'm his mom. But I hope that the closeness we've got will stay with him, and he'll be secure in knowing that Mom's always there for him.
Even if that means reading his text messages every day :)