My little one -who normally LOVES school- started stalling for time when we got him to school this morning. First he started acting silly, then asking for one more hug, one more kiss, then kept saying he'd forgotten something at home. After 15 extra hugs and kisses he still wouldn't cross that threshold and go into class. THEN he started to cry :( he hugged my neck and wouldn't let go, insisting he had to stay with me. One of the teachers came over to talk to him and all he would do is bury his head in my shoulder and cry. Finally I had to stand up and hand over my miserable child to a very nice teacher who told him she'd take him for a little walk to calm down before going inside the class. As she carried him away, he reached over her shoulder and stretched his little hands out to me and cried "Momma! Momma!"
I felt like the Worst Mom Ever.
My husband had to then comfort ME because I felt so awful that I just couldn't walk away. I know everyone has bad days, and bad mornings, but this just makes me feel terrible. I have to work, as much as I wanted to say, "Okay baby, let's just go home" I just couldn't. All my vacation days are scheduled for when the kids are off for Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks.
Just needed to share with other moms (or dads) who might know how I feel. They're having a birthday party in class today so they'll have cupcakes and get all hopped up on sugar, and it's their gym day so I know he'll feel better soon. It's just the horrible guilt of having to walk away when he's so sad. To go to work, to make money, to keep him in private school where he's so sad today.... it's a vicious cycle!
1 comment:
Oh How I Feel You, I Was running late for work today and since ive been back ive made it a point to take the time to give imme her bottle and spend that quiet moment just befor i drop her off for the day. But this morning I Was running late Very late and had to race her off to day care with warm bottle in hand and give her over to her care taker to feed her this morning...It broke my heart and tore at me all day long, i missed my morning moment with her and felt like the worst mom ever!!!
SO you My Dear are not Alone And We As mom's are not that bad, we do the best we can with the life we lead and love those babies above the sun and the moon even when we have to walk away and leave them for the day...how they will never know just how much it killed us. but in the end you know they will love you non the less!
Post a Comment