So I Said to the Cabbie, "Yo Homes, Smell Ya Later!"

Note: If you are easily offended, please go read something else.

O.M.F.G.
Today I decided to pack up all my school stuff and head to my local library to get some quiet time in order to complete 4 final papers. Quiet, yes. I've got quiet. A place to plug in my lap top and free wifi, too.
But the smell! Or lord, the smell is threatening to choke me. I've already changed tables once already, too. Jesus Tapdancing Christ, this place is a haven for the unwashed.
Don't even *think* of lecturing me on the plights of the homeless. I get it. I donate clothes and food, and I sign petitions to fund food banks etc. But I'mma be honest here, I'm pissed off that I pay taxes for a broken public school system that I don't feel safe sending my children to, and a library that smells like ass. I am not here to come up with the answers for our fucked up society that allows people to fall through the cracks to the point where they have no place to shower. I'm here to complain that there is a gang of hobos here stankin' up the place.
*chirp, chirp*
That sound is the crickets that are left over when all my page advertisers run for the hills because I'm complaining about Stinky Pete over here, who smells like he hasn't bathed since Carter took office, and may possibly have rolled in a pile of dog shit as recently as the Clinton years.
One paper is done, and I'm going to attempt to write the outlines for the next two before I pass out from the stench in here.

Reverse Psychology

D went and messed up at school again, not turning in his work. Besides the usual grounding (no video games, no having friends over) when I saw his dismal progress report, I said, "And we're going tomorrow to cut your hair the way *I* want it cut" because well, it's a pretty effective punishment.
Or so I thought.
He went from this...

To this...


Now, we've been down this road once before, where he was growing his hair out, messed up at school, and I cut it off. He was pissed at me for a week. He hated me. And his hair wasn't even all that long back then. NOW his hair was longer than mine, and he fancied himself a Sampson of sorts. His hair was his pride. What set him apart. That was why I'd allowed him to keep it long. Now, what sets him apart is the fact that he doesn't do his damn work, so I figured he didn't need long hair anymore.

Then a funny thing happened. He wasn't mad, or upset. He was downright pleasant. All morning, leading up to the hair cut, I waited for the surliness, the protestations of unfairness to come out. But they didn't. I'd already explained to him that just because he was in trouble didn't mean that I didn't love him, or didn't like him, and that we could still go on to have a good weekend together, but he needs to understand what got him into trouble and the steps he must take to pull himself out of it. So, I thought, maybe it's starting to sink in, and he gets it. Maybe he's not trying to blame anyone else for his mess up, and accepts that punishment is a part of it. So off we went, he got his hair cut the hell off, and we proceeded to have a good day.

Then we dropped his brother off at a cousin's house to spend the night, and part of D's punishment is that he can't spend the night anywhere. But instead of being mad, he treated it like a score for him, because it meant he got to hang out with mom one on one all night. So we picked up a movie and some popcorn and headed home.

On the way, he got really quiet. I'd ask him a question, and he'd respond with, "Mm-hm". Then I started to worry that this had all been an elaborate, psychological coup, where he lulled me into a false sense of security, then *BAM* - hits me with resentment and anger. I thought, "Damn. This is a dangerous kid."

Turns out he'd just put his headphones on, which he's happy he can do now without his hair getting caught in them. Why was I worried that it was all some mean plan to make mom feel like shit? Well, frankly, because that's some crap I'd have done!

Intolerance?

I'm seriously getting pissed off about all my service calls being answered in Johannesburg and Jaipur. I've been on the phone for 10 minutes trying to get something done, and when the person on the other side puts me on hold, I swear he's checking an Afrikaans-English dictionary. And truly, I respect anyone who is fluent in multiple languages, because let's face it, I'm not. BUT I'm also not trying to work in customer support in a language I CAN'T SPEAK either!

And yes, I get the unloading of jobs to other countries and all that. This isn't about the politics behind it. It's about me and this guy on the phone who are having a serious breakdown in communication here.

So, for one of my classes, I'm writing a paper on the banning of the veil/headscarf in France and beyond. What are your thoughts on that? Is it more important to protect religion from government, or people from religion?

Christmas Cards, Etc.

Hahahaaa! (in case you couldn't tell, that's my maniacal laugh)
I actually have my Christmas cards done already! Right after the tree was put up, I took some pics of the kids, went straight to the computer, created and ordered my cards. Now, when I'll have time to address them is something else all together.

Saw a news story about an atheist billboard in NJ. Nice to see another point of view out there.

Hey! I've got a great idea for celebrating Christmas! You should totally adopt a dog! Please visit the Almost Home Foundation to find furry faces that need homes. Like Plum, an adorable little chihuahua who's being fostered here in Chicago.

Hey, I've got another idea! You should volunteer at local soup kitchen, Boys and Girls Club or maybe someplace close to my heart like the Maryville Crisis Nursery! I can't think of a better way to celebrate your own good fortune than to share it and help others :)

I Could Do Some Damage

Tuesday I start my new job. New job means new clothes, right? A little back story - a few years ago, Hubs and I stopped using credit cards, and we're STILL paying off old balances. The only one I kept was a Bloomingdales account, and I used it once a year for the charity shopping event that the Save Abandoned Babies Foundation was involved in. So yesterday Hubs suggested that for once, I not worry about money, and use my Bloomies account to pick up some clothes. So out of curiosity, I checked the credit limit on it.
Oh my.
I could do some damage there. I see a nice new pair of boots in my immediate future.

*Muahahahaaaaa*

On Music and Maturity

I had quite a revelation listening to Jodeci from a married adult’s perspective.

“I’m sorry I left you, I left you crying, since you’ve been gone I’ve been all alone.” Well, yeah, dumbass, you left me crying…

“Tonight, let’s start out love again, tonight we can be more than just friends” What? Tonight? And tomorrow it’s back to crying? Forget it. I don’t have time for this.

Another Cringeworthy Moment

Attention parents of male children:

In the beginning, you think, I'm having a baby, it's great! He'll learn to walk, and talk, and learn his ABC's, and to ride a bike.....
And you have all these dreams....
but you stop dreaming long before your young man hits puberty. Because no one fantasizes that they'll have a little boy, love him and nurture him, and then catch him sneaking porn.

SO today Hubs walked by Daimean's room - which has no door, which is a story for another time - and said child closed out whatever he was looking at on the computer. Which is right in front of the open door, facing the door, so there's not much room for privacy, you see. Hubs, being a curious kind of guy (and a dad) checked the browser history and found animated porn having titles which included phrases like lap dance and blow job.

This is the first time it really occurred to me that porn, in all it's raunchy glory, objectifies women in a way that I don't want my tender darling son exposed to. Previously, I'd have just said it's inappropriate, and leave it at that. But now, I see a bigger danger, one that has men looking at women like they're only put on this earth for one thing, and it's not our wit and humor. One that causes some men to misunderstand that no means no.

Dear lord that's terrifying. So Hubs had a talk with him, and then I talked to him when I got home. He was honest and said he was looking because he was curious and that he thought he wouldn't get caught. I dig honesty. I get it. So I laid it out, and had to explain words like misogynistic to my little man. Fun times all around.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again....

Parenting is NOT for the weak.

But on a lighter note, Isaiah was invited to join a gifted program at school! How awesome is that? His teacher says that he finishes his work faster than the other kids, and then starts helping *them* with theirs, and explaining it like a little teacher :)