Thursday, September 13, 2007

5 Things I've Heard This Week

1. "I've got a girlfriend. She's in 8th grade." This came from my 4th grade son. I'm almost afraid to ask what having a girlfriend actually entails.

2. "I can handle this!" says my almost 4 year old while putting a hand to his brother's face. My older son was being reprimanded for.. ummm... whatever, and his little brother steps in, gives him the hand and then proceeds to tell ME not to be mad at his brother.

3. "Right, those Oreros hidden behind the instant oatmeal were for the kids." This comes from my husband, who fished out said Oreos and presented them to me with a glass of milk. Nice guy.

4. "I hurt my butt!" almost 4 year old falls butt-first on bed railing.

5. "Wow! Is that a picture of you when you were young?!" Excuse me?? I'm not even 30 yet!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Car Accidents and Chick Lit

Jay-sus, Mary and Joseph! What the heck is wrong with people?! My husband talked me into trading in my much loved VW Jetta for a hulking man-mobile truck last year. Since November, it's been hit FOUR times. And we keep it in the garage at night!

The first hit was about a month after we took Big Bertha home with us. My husband took our older son to a book fair and came out to find a laughing teenager backing into the side of the truck. Needless to say, he was not happy. Another was a hit and run in a parking lot. Another was a rear hit from a giggling girl on a cell phone.

The last time, we were celebrating the 15th anniversary of the day we met -yes, I know, we're that old and lame- and taking the kids to the zoo. It was a bright sunny day, we were heading down Lake Shore Drive when a toothless old coot in a pick up truck rammed us from behind. Yes, rammed. He didn't slow down, didn't apologize, and didn't hear well. "Ya gotta speak up! Uh I tell ya, that was just silly!" What was silly? Daring to drive in front of Mr. AARP?

Monday I was driving home in the rain, listening to Incubus and minding my own business. Was waiting at a light to make a left turn. Light changes, oncoming car blows red light. Did we have an accident? No. I waited for him to clear the intersection, then slowly went ahead. Of course it was slowly, it was raining and it's Chicago traffic for cripe's sake. So a young guy on a bicycle decides that since the car could blow the light, he could, too. Didn't work so well for him. I hit the brakes, he tumbled and fell half way under my front bumper. Honest - I thought I'd killed the guy. I backed up to pull around him, then jumped out to see if he was okay. He apologizes repeatedly, saying he thought he could make it. THEN he looks at me and starts telling me how sweet I am. For not running him over like the idiot he is?! I'm standing there yelling at the guy and he's telling me I'm great. Did he think he was going to get a ride? A date?

A while back I decided I could easily write a chick lit book. Chick Literature - The brain candy I read to amuse myself in between more serious texts. My husband suggests this almost-accident is a great opening for a book. I think maybe he's right.....