Karma Schmarma

It's been a trying week, a very hard week.

But you know what? Once again, the amazing network of friends that I've been blessed with has come through for me in unexpected ways. No one makes it through alone. You might like to think you're a one woman show, but the fact is that there are other women holding you up. And for that, I am thankful.

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."

A Word on Alter Egos

Yesterday after a particularly bad day, I was driving my safe, German car, with the Sinatra station on. With the A/C on, no less.
A woman on a motorcycle whizzed by my left, swung into the turn lane, then took off. At that moment, I wanted that. The wind, the speed, the freedom and release. I've always been a fan of Rose is Rose. Rose is a momma, she takes care of her family, but deep inside she's a hard core rebel.
Maybe it's time to let my own alter ego out for a while. Sometimes you need to dig deep and let another facet of yourself out. What good is having a wild side if you never let it free?

Something Like Normal

Since school is out, I'm trying my hardest to create some sort of routine. A schedule. But since the majority of the kids' belongings are still in the freakin' dining room, this is proving somewhat hard. No, Hubs has not finished the wall fixing (after the wall knocking down) but it's getting closer. I have a feeling I'll end up painting the room myself once he's done with the sanding etc. *sigh* Why is it that HE decides to take on a project, then I have to work on it?? Well, I shouldn't complain. At least he's doing something.

Over the course of 2 busy semesters, 1 job and 1 fundraiser, my eating habits became more atrocious than normal, and exercise... well, let's just say my treadmill had more dust on it than Pompeii. So another thing I'm working on is eating better and exercising. Ironically, exercising automatically makes me watch what I eat, because then I think I'm undoing all the pain and suffering the treadmill has put me through. But damn, this morning I wanted McDonald's something fierce. I didn't go. I'll eat my Quaker True Delights bar instead.

I mentioned I've been having nightmares. Oh yeah, raging nightmares. In one, someone broke into the house, and I killed him with a hammer. It was gruesome, but I woke up feeling like, "Hell yea, I'd kill to protect my kids! Don't mess with me!" But of course, the only one to hear this newfound badassness was the dog.

Vote for Tucker - More of the Same

Oh Monday, Monday, how I hate you Monday....

School's out! Like Alice Cooper, I'm partying. Well, if by "partying" you mean hanging out with the kids, reading for fun and catching up on lost episodes of Jon Stewart, then yeah, I am.

I've been plagued by nightmares for the last few days. I know why, too. On Friday night I sat up and watched the Biography of Ted Bundy. Not that I didn't already KNOW about him and his craziness, but sitting up, at night, alone.... and realizing that monsters are indeed real? That they do come into your house at night? Oh hell now, it was just too much for my fragile mind.

And now, it's about lunch time, so I'll have to come back to this later.

And yes, I'm still scatterbrained. Obviously.

Confessions

It's true. I'm totally in love with Paul Rudd. No, I can't explain it. But I did have a dream once where he played Rob in the movie version of Get Fuzzy.

Venting

*Disclosure* Feel free to skip this blog post, it's my last whiny, woe is me post. I swear.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Yeah, so I'm pretty close to the Cliffs of Insanity. I know this week is going to be rough, but after that will be smooth sailing until the fall semester starts. If I live through tonight - and that's a big "if" - and the fundraiser is a success, tomorrow I may even sleep late!
Between home (where my husband just knocked down a wall without consulting me first) school (where I've got finals this week) the kids (who desperately need attention) and work (where everything, strangely, is fine) ..... it's like I'm losing my mind.
AND my husband copped attitude with me this morning, almost winning him a roundhouse to the solar plexus. Seriously? Wars have been started by people with more mental stability than I have today.

Impact

It’s easy to get bogged down in your daily life, and forget that you have the power to impact others.

Each year, I help to run an art contest for Safe Haven. Contacting hundreds of schools to get students to produce posters or works of art to help educate their community about the law. Each year, I stress over it, and then get a ton of amazing entries right at the deadline. Last year, one of the winners was a girl at an alternative high school, who was clawing her way through a horrible home life to try to make something better for herself by finishing school. It was an absolute pleasure to meet her and present her with the award.

This year, after stressing out as usual, I got ONE lone entry to the contest. Just one. It was a great one, don’t get me wrong. But I was bummed out that we got only that one.

The school was notified and congratulated. I ordered the certificate and sent info for the prize money to be distributed.

Then the teacher called me. She said, “You don’t know how much this will mean to her.” Turns out this student is a ward of the state. Working her way through school, dealing with self esteem issues, trying to fit in and get through. She did the project on her own, no extra credit, and never expected to win anything…. She did it because she thinks it’s important. Because she wants babies to be safe and loved.

And now, it’s going to be my pleasure to present her with her award, and tell her what a great job she did. And it will serve as a reminder to me that everything we do impacts someone else. Not everything works out as you planned, but it all works out. And what you do can impact someone else’s life in ways you didn’t expect.