(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

DH and I at Universal Studios in 1996, two years before we got married. And probably the last time my stomach saw the light of day.

Just Call Me Kathy Lee

Sometimes I feel bad that I air my kids' dirty laundry here online. But not bad enough to stop. At least I protect their little identities by not calling them out by name. That'll last until I forget, and then one day my older son will be mortified by this whole thing. Right now he sorta thinks it's cool that mom's got a blog and his picture ends up there. That's because I haven't let him sit down and read it.

Last night Golden Boy asked me if I hope they have a spring dance at school. I asked him why, and he said because if the rule book doesn't prohibit it, he'd like to ask a girl from a different school. He wants to ask a girl from his old school, who had transferred out a year before he did, but I've kind of kept in touch with her mom. What I wanted to do was say, "That's so cute! Of course you should ask her!" but what I did say was, "Make sure you have a back up plan, in case it's a dance for students only."
My thought here is that 4th grade boys probably aren't the most attentive dates out there, and he'd wander off with his friends and leave her all alone with a bunch of kids she doesn't know.

Today I've got Steve Burns' album, Songs for Dustmites, playing over and over. For those of you who aren't cool in the 3 - 5 age set, Steve used to host Blue's Clues, and has probably been the subject of many mom fantasies. The new host, Joe, is a certifiable douche bag. In fact, I don't like a lot of kids shows that feature grown up humans, it kind of creeps me out. The Upside Down Show being the exception, but I'm certainly not fantasizing about those guys.

For some reason, Blogger is refusing to check my spelling today. So if this comes off like a mental patient scrawled it on the wall with a dull crayon, now you know why.

It Was a Good Run, But...

Ah, just when I thought I didn't have a darn thing to blog about today. Belly called me to tell me he got a note home from his teacher because he bit someone. I asked him what happened, he says, "When ___ was playing, I bit him, and he hit me, and I said sorry. He said it's okay, but my teacher put me on yellow and sent you a letter. Now can I play the Wii?" *sigh* That kid's dad was in such a good mood this morning, too.
The kids have a behavior chart that starts on green and progresses to red with their little indiscretions. When you stay on green all day, you get a sticker. Belly had a nice collection of stickers going until today. He's not aggressive by nature, and he's not "a biter" so I have no idea why he did this.
Of course trying to ask for a rational explanation from a 4 year old is very much like asking a peanut butter sandwich for dating advice.
So I asked him again why he would do that to someone who just yesterday he claimed was his friend. I'm having trouble following the pre-k who's who list. Apparently one particular girl is an untouchable (if it is, indeed, a caste system) because Belly says that he's not friends with certain kids based on their friendship with her. He claimed he terminated his friendship with someone else over a "Pink Power Ranger" slur was hurled at recess. Another one is his friend even though he hit Belly in the head with a shoe. Delicate social ties, these kids.
And still, all Belly keeps calling me to ask is, "Can I play the Wii now? I said I was sorry!"
I'm sure you all know the answer to that :)

Lamb

Went into Borders to pick up a few books. Got the second installment of Diary of a Wimpy Kid for Golden Boy. I read the first book, it was very funny and age appropriate. Picked up Michael Crichton's Next for DH. Then I went to grab one for myself, and I knew exactly what I wanted. Christopher Moore's "Lamb - The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal"

His other books, You Suck! and A Dirty Job are laugh out loud funny. If you haven't read them, you should. Anyway, it was between Lamb, Sam Harris' Letter to a Christian Nation or a re-read of Bertrand Russel's Why I'm Not a Christian. Since I've read plenty of serious texts lately (I'm in the midst of a self imposed break from chick lit) I figured I'd go for something that would make me laugh. So, on with the story. All I could find is the collector's edition, and I didn't want to pay $20 for a $13 book. When I got to the counter, I asked the stoner guy behind the counter to check if they have the regular, cheaper edition in stock since it's just for me, and not a gift. He wanders around for about five minutes before figuring out that the regular editions are in the stock room. Eventually he comes out with it. He rings up my purchases and stands there holding my books, he asks, "Do you want me to gift wrap these for you?" I said no thank you, just drop 'em in a bag and I'll be on my way. He continues to stand there, not bagging my books, and says, "I could gift wrap them, cause, you know, even if they're for you, you could still, you know, pretend....."

What the fuck?

Weather update: 28 degrees and a foot and a half of snow. Thank fucking goodness for 4 wheel drive. Cars were slipping and sliding all over the place this morning, and for some reason I will never understand, some idiots were actually trying to ride bicycles in this crap. Listen, it's the middle of winter, get on the damn bus. Stop fucking up traffic while you struggle through the snow in the middle of the street. When the bicycle lanes are covered in SNOW, that's a good sign that it's no time to be riding one.

Orthodontia

EEEK~! Both kids went to the dentist yesterday. Belly has two cavities and now needs baby root canals, and GB is going to have an ortho consult because he's going to get braces as soon as he looses the rest of his deciduous teeth. Yes, I said deciduous instead of "baby teeth", live with it.


When I was in school, most kids were embarrassed to have braces. The rest of our families couldn't afford it, but at the time we wouldn't have wanted them anyway. Now, kids show off their braces. They get the rubber bands color coordinated with their ipods. I've even heard of kids getting fake braces. WTF? Anyway, I'm glad the stigma is gone, because poor Golden Boy is going to be getting braces in the not too distant future.

I know of at least one person who had a really bad experience with her little one freaking out at the dentist. The thought terrifies me. I can't imagine having to hold the Belly down, or listen to him cry.

Thank god I'm not the one taking him! The pediatric dentists don't have evening or weekend hours, so DH gets to take Belly on his day off during the week. He looks at me as if he doesn't believe me, when I tell him of his mission and how it can ONLY be done on his day off. He says, "Mm-hm, how convenient" and I think, Why yes, it is :)



I'll give you a little weather update for today. It's a balmy 12 degrees and snowing sideways.



Last thing, I swear. Yesterday I saw this pic of David Beckham and I couldn't breathe for a moment.

Wordless Wednesday

Life's Great Mysteries

Yesterday I painted both my finger nails and my toe nails. By tomorrow, my manicure will be chipped and horrid looking, while my pedicure will last at least 2 weeks.

Belly cries some mornings when he gets to school, because he doesn't want to stay there. But if I take him in the evenings for a parent meeting, or on the weekend for the science fair, he cries because he doesn't want to leave.

I got this great idea to write a book, wrote the first half at light speed, and now it just hanging out in my subconscious. It's a funny story and I'm enjoying reading it, I think I'm just waiting for someone else to finish writing it. Strange, especially since I'm the only one who knows how it ends.

Waterproof mascara smudges when I yawn, but I can't get it off at night without a chemical solvent and a chisel.

I stall for 5 minutes because I don't want to arrive early, then wind up 30 minutes late.