Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Oh, My Balls!

While giving Belly a bath last night, he started repeating lines he's heard from movies, TV and Youtube. One of them had the word "testicles" in it. So I asked him if he knew what testicles are, and he said no.
Now, Belly's quite big enough to wash himself these days, my Mom duty is only to wash his hair and face so he doesn't blind himself. So I explained that his testicles are below his penis. Of course he got out of the water and yanked it up and said, "You mean these?"
"Yes, dear, I mean those."
He then asks for a run down of penis neighborhood parts and functions. Ever try to explain a urethra to a five year old? Do try, because it's great just to hear them repeat the word.
The he says that there's one more thing down there, but he doesn't know what it is. I ask what, and he says,
with such innocence and openness.
He was delighted to find out that balls are testicles, and to finally get what all the jokes mean when someone gets hit "in the balls."
(You may be asking WHY on earth my five year old would hear those jokes. Two words - Mike Meyers)
So at this point he's out of the bath and getting dried off and I'm trying in vain to get him to stop saying BALLS. So I told him it's not something to joke about, they're private parts. He retorts that private parts aren't BAD. Touche. So I said that it's not a word for kids to say.
Then the light bulb goes off over his mischievous little cherub head and he says, "I won't say it at school, and I won't say it in front of Daddy. I'll just tell you!"
Then he had one last request. "Can I say one more thing?", he asks.
"Sure," I say.
He crouches in classic ball-shot position and yells, "Oh, my balls!"

Oh, the many joys of raising male children!


Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I have a five year old son too.

They would get along swimmingly.

Veronica Garcia said...

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not... stop.... laughing on this one..... I'm waiting for my son to ask me these questions... God I hope his dad already took care of that part(s). :)

Colleen said...

and this may be where we find the silver lining in Gavin's developmental delay cloud...heh heh...no balls yet! Though since I have four brothers, I think I've heard more than my fair share, so maybe it's God smiling down on me by not having these questions and such yet. :D

Dawn said...

I LOVED THIS. I made my husband read it, classic. One of my new fave posts.