What Kind of a Mother Would...?

We're all guilty of using that phrase, either out loud or in our heads. I don't like that phrase. I hate it when something like that pops into my head for something less than blatant child abuse.
What kind of a mother would say that to her child?
What kind of a mother lets their kid watch TV all day?
What kind of a mother doesn't read to her child?
What kind of a mother lets her kids speak like that?
What kind of a mother site on blogger reading about other people's kids instead of playing with her own?!

Umm.... yeah. I think I have to go now!

Cementing My Status

...as World's Coolest Mom. At least in the eyes of my own son, and that's all I care about.

D had a field trip this week. So I packed him a lunch, made sure he wore a school logo shirt, had his cell phone charged, etc. But on the way to school I realized he didn't have any cash. Not even a few dollars for water or ice cream. When I was a kid I *hated* that. So I pulled into a gas station to use the ATM on the way to school. No luck, Hubs had the card. So I dropped him off with a promise to return with money.
When I returned, the principal told me they'd left already, but if I hurried, I could catch the bus in front of the other building.
So I drove. Fast. and I pulled in front of the busses so they couldn't leave. I walked right onto the bus... oops, wrong bus.
So I walked right onto the NEXT bus and gave D his money, and received cheers from him and his classmates.
He says I rock.
And if he thinks so, it must be true.

Reflections on Momma's Day

Mom's aren't perfect. Me, I spend most of my time just trying not to do anything that will mess my kids up. As an adult I'm trying to have some kind of functional relationship with my own mother. It's not easy. I hope that right now I'm laying the groundwork for a good relationship with my adult children.
But enough about my neuroses.

Today I got a tiny potted flower, a movie, wildflower seeds, a faaaabulous pair of shoes and a necklace. Because mother's day is all about presents, right?

Lemme tell you about my card. Are you familiar with lolcats?? My darling Hubs and my very funny boys made me a Lol card, with a pic of my two comedians on the back. How cool is that??

Oh and the best of all..... and the one that will land my kid in therapy.... is a scene from Star Wars that Belly drew for me. It's got me as Leia, him as Darth Vadar, and a very angry Anakin after his hand gets cut off. Am I the only mom who got a drawing of an amputated, bloody arm stump? I bet I am! I'm so lucky!!

Breaking the Toilet? Seriously?

For three nights in a row there have been disturbances on my street. This makes me very angry. And last week, someone broke into the house next door. It's vacant and up for sale, oh joy. Last night some moron was laying on their horn at 3am until a woman went outside and, sounding like an angry mom, put and end to it. Tonight some drunk vagrants were smashing a toilet in the alley. Seriously? A toilet? Luckily I have large, male neighbors who just happened to be out in their garage at the time. They put a stop to it, but not before crazy drunken toilet vandal made off with his newly acquired toilet seat. Ew.

And Hubs wonders why having a big hulking dog is such a good idea?

Today the kiddos and I got to enjoy the lovely weather at the park. Rollerblades, a football, a skateboard and a conveniently placed ice cream man. Really, does it get any better than that?

Happy Birthday, I Smashed the Car!

Yes, that's what I said to Hubs on Tuesday when I came home for lunch. Well, maybe "smash" is a bit strong. I scraped the car. On another car. In front of the kids' school. Yeah, could it be more embarrassing?? 15 years I've been driving and I've never done this before!
Allow me to state my case (because it's MY blog, damnit) There was a truck double parked, and a parking spot to the left of it. I *thought* I had enough space to get past the truck and pull into the spot. Not so, said the law of physics (or whichever one says something about two bodies not being able to occupy the same space)
So it was the parent of a kid in Belly's class... of course. Whose wife knows me. Of course. So the guy is super nice - and I was trying desperately to send ESP messages like, We're in front of a church, you can't get mad, come on, what would Jesus do?
Thankfully, the only thing that happened is his turn signal stopped working. Yeah well probably because I pulled the light housing away from the body of the car (details, details) but that it won't be hard to fix. Of course I said we'd pay for the housing or wiring or whatever it needs. How? Am going to sell a kidney, that's how. I only need one, right?
So, on Hubs birthday, HE spent an hour making ME feel better and telling me it's no big deal. My car has a tiny dent by the back door, but it seems pretty awful to me.

And let's not forget the embarrassment factor here. Yes, the new head of the annual fundraiser committee at the school (yes, moi) is spreading goodwill by smashing up cars in front. Ah, good times.

Not Fit For This

Yesterday I went to take the ICTS (or some other acronym from hell) basic skills test. It's a 5 hour test. Five hours. What the hell is testing me for that long going to prove? That I can sit still? Well, I can't.
Thankfully, I was done in 3.5 hours, but STILL. There were so many reading selections, I found myself eager to get to the math portion. And I really dislike math. Then I found out that the math portion was NOTHING like the practice test. So there I am, my eyes crossing from this marathon testing session, and trying to find the flaw in a sample algebraic equation. It's a good thing I'm proficient in other areas, because I'm sue I blew that one.
But now the test is over, and out of the way. Only thing left to do now is, well, actually return to school.
*gulp*

Thank you!!!!

Look at what my awesome friend did for me!!!!!!! The middle is a quilt square that Golden Boy made in school a looong time ago. Me, being the non-domestic diva that I am, cannot quilt to save my life. Once, I opened up a sewing machine box and even with the instructions I couldn’t discern which part went where. Anyway, my friend Jeannette makes quilts, and she offered to make one for me using Daimean’s piece as the center square. The pic absolutely doesn’t do justice to the quilt, but I had to post it!

Thank you, Jeanette!!